The life of a working daughter, a women balancing eldercare and career, isn’t easy. And many of us are also raising children at the same time. We’re not sure how we do it, but we get it done. Here are 19 truths about life as a working daughter that only a fellow caregiver will understand.

1 You can feel relief and grief at the same time. We call it grelief and it often occurs after someone we love is no longer suffering, but therefore no longer with us.

2 Your elderly parent will tell you they are knocking on death’s door. So you take time off of work to bring them to the doctor. There they report everything is fine and they have no idea why you brought them in.

3 Hell is an office with an open floor plan where sinners are forced to make personal phone calls with no privacy. Purgatory is the geriatrician’s waiting room where the only thing to pass the time is a National Geographic from 2003.

4 The 9 to 5 workday is a myth. We work 5-9, 9-5 and 5-9.

5 Forget TGIF, we love Mondays when we get to escape to the office. No one there needs help in the bathroom.

6 Weekends are our “down time.” We spend them going to the grocery store, the pharmacy, the dry cleaner, youth sports games, and whatever local restaurant has an early bird special.

7 Work from home days rarely happen at home. We work from doctor’s offices, parking lots, nursing homes, emergency rooms, school auditoriums. As long as we can get WIFI, we can get it done.

8 The only time we reach our target heart rate is when our cell phone rings, and we think it’s an emergency.

9 “Don’t worry. Nothing’s wrong,” is the only proper way to start a phone conversation.

10 “I’m fine,” is the only response people want to hear when they ask how you are.

11 Hospitals are no place for the sick but a few days in bed watching TV and having our meals brought to us on a tray sounds really good right now.

12 Our sibling just can’t afford to miss that important meeting at work, lose the deposit on their tropical vacation, or skip their son’s Lego league tournament to help out. Sorry! We understand, don’t we?

13 Girls’ interest in math and science may drop off in their teens, but once they become working daughters they pursue careers in STEM – as nurses, pharmacists, nutritionists, and computer technicians – unpaid of course.

14 Studies show multitasking is a myth. Studies are wrong.

15 Even the nicest person can transform into the Hulk when calling an insurance company about a medical claim.

16 Double Stuff pair nicely with Merlot.

17 It is possible to go to seven doctor’s appointments in one month but not remember the last time you had a physical.

18 Working mother guilt is for amateurs. Working daughter guilt is the big leagues.

19 We didn’t choose this life, but deep down inside we know we never could have said no if we had been asked.

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